


Demon Blood

by gaialux



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Addiction, Additional Warnings Apply, Community: angst_bingo, Drugs, F/M, M/M, Past Drug Use, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-07
Updated: 2013-09-07
Packaged: 2017-12-25 21:43:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/957917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaialux/pseuds/gaialux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's been clean for years, but you never stop wanting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Demon Blood

**Author's Note:**

> Written for LJ angstbingo square of "drugs". Heavy references to drug usage, including by underage people.
> 
> Supernatural does not belong to me. This piece of fiction was written for entertainment purposes only, no profit is gained.

Dean thinks he's clean.  
  
He is. That part's true. He hasn't had a taste in 3 years, not one drop. He hasn't gone searching, he hasn't come anywhere close.  
  
That doesn't stop the  _want_.  
  
When he was in high school, Sam tried marijuana. It did nothing, calmed him a little, maybe. Dean grinned at him and leaned down while Sam leaned up, brushing their lips together before Dean pulled away and couldn't stop laughing. "Sammy," he breathed, trying to catch his breath. Sam couldn't breathe at all.  
  
In college, it was ecstasy. The love drug. He goes to his first party two weeks after classes start, finally dragging himself out of bed and forcing on a smile. This guy, he forgets his name, presses the little blue pill into his hand and grins at him like Dean did three years ago until Sam says  _fuck it_ and swallows it down.  
  
He wanders around the dorm common room, taking beers that come into his hands (another drug he can't quit, but Dean's worse and that's that), and watching lights flash and whirl around his eyes.  
  
Once it kicks in, the ecstasy is like a blanket. It wraps him up and keeps him warm. It reminds him of nights in cold motel rooms when he was young (and, yeah, maybe when he was a little older) and it was cold, and Dean would let them press together under the covers while Dad was out on a hunt.  _Warm_. Not just physical warmth, but all kinds of warmth. Warmth to let him know that maybe everything will be okay, that at least they have each other.  
  
He meets a girl at the party, but he'll never remember her name. She's dark hair and eyes, and Ruby reminds him a little of her, but it doesn't matter now. All that matters is she's hitting on him and sex is another form of drug.  
  
Dean taught him that.  
  
So he has sex with her, and everything is magnified. Every breath, every touch, every taste. She's soft under his hands, she makes a cute little squealing sound when he sucks into her neck, and when he comes it feels like it will never, ever stop. And he doesn't want it to, not this time. Not after he's finally found normal.  
  
There's this one time, a couple of years later, that he tries out LSD. He does this on his own, in the apartment him and Jess rent while she's out with friends. He lies back on the bed, sticks the multi-coloured square with  _Roadrunner_ on his tongue, and waits to forget the world like he's always been told about.  
  
That's not quite the way it goes.  
  
LSD turns out to be the closest to demon blood, because it reminds him of hunting. Every single creature they've ever hunted walks into the room on that day. Demons and ghosts and werewolves and one-off demonic fucks he doesn't even have time to classify. He fights them all off with bare hands, feeling the crush of bones and sprays of blood.  
  
When he comes down, there's nothing there. Just him and his heavy breathing and chocked off sobs while he tries to forget. He thought he already had by now.  
  
When he finds Ruby, she's the next hit he needs. She's the one - he thinks - will give him what Dean keeps denying him. Sam is a  _freak_. Sam has  _demon blood_ running through his veins. Dean tries to brush it off, but Ruby, she understands this, and she teaches him.  
  
At least that's how it feels at the start.  
  
When she fucks him over, Dean has to pick up the pieces. Sam still can't cope, still can't function, because he's still that half-demon freak that just can't quit He falls, he stumbles, because demon blood is a whole new level of addiction that nobody else out there can ever understand.  
  
But Dean tries to and, with time, that becomes enough.  
  
Sam will die with the blood pumping through his veins, but at least he's no longer responsible for putting it there.


End file.
